![[IMAGE]](../../images/darfish.gif)
Generic Beginning
2 The universe was without stuff and void; and darkness was upon the face of... well, nothing. And the Spirit of Bob was hovering over the face of the Holy Pinochle Cards.
3 Then Bob said, "This sucks, I need some stuff"; and there was stuff.
4 And Bob saw the stuff, that it was kinda cool; and Bob divided the stuff from the void, but there was this giant sucking sound and the stuff popped back into place, so Bob decided to leave the stuff right where it was before.
5 Bob called the stuff Stuff, and the void he called Fun at Parties or in Pockets. So having thoroughly ruined a perfectly good game of solitaire, Bob decided that he was pretty tired and took a nap.
6 Then, after a rather unpleasant discovery (The first alarm clock) Bob said, "Let there be Cool Stuff along with this other crap"; and there were these big spheres that suddenly appeared in the dark, one of which was glowing and pretty fuckin'' hot.
7 So Bob dropped them on his table, and tried to play a round of pool with them, but the cue ball scorched the fake wood grain, and the number 3 ball got his newspaper all wet, so he threw them out.
8 But then Fun at Parties or in Pockets took effect again, and they just sort of hovered there in the dark, spinning.
9 And Bob called the pool balls planets, and the cue ball he called Hot. Then Bob grew tired and took another nap.
10 Then Bob said, "I might as well do something with these planet thingies."
11 And Bob said, let the planets bring forth grass that I might better enjoy this whole experience, and there was pot. And Bob was stoned. And he got the giggles, and it gave him a headache, And Bob said, �This sucks.� And He decided that grass wasn�t such a good idea after all, and after taking a hand full of Advil He returned to the creation of the universe.
12 And He said, "Let the waters of the third planet be gathered together so they don't go sloshing around again." And it was so, and from beneath the waters arose dry land.
13 And Bob called the dry land Brown and the waters he called Late For Dinner. And Bob saw it, and it was kinda neat.
14 Then Bob said, "I'm pretty bored here all by myself..." And so Bob created for himself a companion species, and it lived upon the Brown of the third planet. And it was good.
15 Then Bob decided to take a short walk, but he accidentally stepped on the ninth sphere, and it rolled out from under him, and he fell and hit his head on the floor, and took a short nap. Bob didn't think a whole lot about it at the time, but if he had he would not have thought it was cool at all.
16 And when Bob arose he found that strange things had been afoot while he was having his nap (not including the dream about the penguin and the midget and the stripper). For the planets had begun to circle each other, and the ninth one was now rolling on its side.
17 So Bob decided to go down to the third planet to see how his companion species had fared during his nap.
18 And Bob walked upon the Brown, and he saw that there were fish in the sea, and birds in the sky, and that all manner of creatures roamed the face of the Brown.
19 And Bob looked on his companion species, and it looked back at him. And then the companion species spoke. And the
20 companion species said, "Meow." And Bob was not pleased.
1 Bob saw what had become of his companion species and he was saddened, but as a divine being he recognized one of the universal principals was at work here.
2 "Well," said Bob, "Shit happens." And shit did happen, and it was not neat.
3 "Guess I should do something for them..." And so Bob decided to create a companion species for his former companion species, to tend to them and to the fields and to serve as a good source of entertainment.
4 So Bob molded man from leftover mashed potatoes, but he didn't move around a whole lot. And Bob said, "I'm not touching those lips."
5 And so Bob created woman from a chocolate bar he'd been saving, and gave her CPR, and it was good.