Gold’s Rules

Gold’s Rules…


… of Business

  • Management is a classification of mammal whose purpose is to prevent you from doing your job
    efficiently and make your life hell when they succeed (See also, Customers).
  • If you deceive your customers, when they eventually learn the truth you
    will have done far more harm than if you had given them the real facts from
    the start.
  • The low-profile, lower paid employees are often the very heart of the
    business. They are the foundation upon which the entire operation sits. If
    you do not support them, then everything will collapse!
  • Management is incapable of recognizing the worth of those they supervise.

… of Computing

  • Look before you delete.
  • If you do not know what something does, do not assume you don’t
    need it. The exceptions to this rule are daemons which open up a port on
    your computer. Kill ’em all!
  • If you think MS Windows operates according to some set of rules, you’re
    fooling yourself. If you want to fix something, get yourself a Bill Gates
    voodoo doll, and a bottle of Tequila.
  • If you think you’re typing more than you should have to in order to make
    something work, you probably are.
  • Never install a Microsoft Beta.

… of Life

  • One sign that you are becoming an adult is that you have questions that
    your family honestly cannot answer. (Hey mom, how do I set up kernel modules
    again?)
  • Paranoia may be inconvenient, and it may make you seem foolish, but
    ironically it also prevents foolish mistakes.
  • Idiots keep life interesting. They just have a bad habit of not knowing
    when life needs spicing up.
  • Proper use of synonyms is the key to diplomacy.

… of Education

  • NEVER trust an Academic Counselor. NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER!