I’m drunk, and I’m upset with myself, and I haven’t said anything about the trajedy on the east coast, because what the hell can I say? Nothing that hasn’t already been said.

Like many other people, I’ve been shocked. Yes, I was actually shocked… not by the event itself, but by the level of horror involved. I wasn’t really shocked that there would be a terrorist attack on the US… Its not the first time, and it won’t be the last. But just… watching that plane fly through the world trade center, bursting into flame, the cockpit being flung out into space (later found on the roof of a nearby building)… Hearing about the rescue workers being trapped in the building when it collapsed (the number of missing firemen is up to 400 now)…

At the changing of the guard at buckingham palace, today… they played the american national anthem. I just pictured myself there, as an american abroad while all this… mess, this horrible, terrible event… is going on… and to be there, and hear the star spangled banner play… And that’s such a rigid event, the changing of the guard… That they actually did that…

I wish I could cry. I haven’t really cried in years… I come close, my eyes were burning with tears… but I don’t cry anymore.