Determined

I’m determined to see this project through, even though I may soon find myself the old man on the team; having been with the company for about a year (4 months of that as a contractor).

Its daunting, and I know that I’m not prepared for the tasks ahead of me… yet. But I have laid out a path, and I have faith in myself and my team (even as it grows smaller and smaller).

The next three months will get tougher and tougher, and I’m sure I’ll continue to live like a zombie until its over… but maybe on the other side of this I can take some time off… My first real vacation as a working man. A whole week; not just a monday or a friday off or a three day weekend… No, I’m talking 7 days in a country where english isn’t their native language, and possibly one that requires a passport. Drinking rum drinks, and oogling bikinis. I haven’t picked it out yet; but I don’t need to.

I bitch, and I stress on bullshit things that don’t really mean anything (in the hunter-gatherer sense of things)… but I also know that this is a great opportunity; and I did more last month than a lot of sysadmins will get to do in their entire careers. And while I will never see myself as good enough; especially as I find new, extremely talented people to hold myself up against, I do know how I compare to the average person in this line of work…

Its been a real privilege to be able to interview people for this job, and a real eye-opener. Questions we initially presented as “sorry, but we have to start with the basics…” went unanswered so often, that we started to get extatic when we got an answer. I also know what I look for in another admin now, and I understand better the face I need to present the next time I go out and look for a job (maybe later this year, maybe middle of next).

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