I’m sorry you are feeling frustrated that it has been a week and you are just now at the point that you are dealing with printer formatting issues. I’m sorry you feel this may be in some way my fault. Lets consider the matter…

You set this system up yourself and gave me the password last Friday morning. I connected, did my part, and was done in an average time frame (3 hours). There was some small delay related to a security setting on your server that you didn’t understand and which was preventing your web server from talking to your database over the local socket, but that was handled relatively painlessly and you’re off and running.

I try to connect to test that everything is working, but it turns out you are on a personal class DSL line and your provider is blocking inbound web requests. You promise to get that handled. No worries.

Monday you report that you are having issues that sound like that security setting again. It seems that you rebooted and the change wasn’t saved. My bad, I’m not familiar with the system, I’ll take care of it as soon as I can log in… Except that I can’t… and you can’t… and the reason is that your server was hacked because you picked ‘password’ as your freaking password, dumbass.

OK, so Tuesday morning I walk you through bringing the system up in single user mode so you can set a new password. I have been told you have a unix admin on staff, so I don’t worry about a possible breach at this point. I get in, fix the security setting, and get out.

I get home from surgery (had a cyst removed, no biggie) to find that you are experiencing a major lag issue. I check and there’s nothing spiking in ram or cpu usage. I drop you an email suggesting you try to connect using the ip address rather than the url. You never get this message because your mail server doesn’t like my domain. …

Next day you’re still having lag issues. We get remote access to a workstation in your LAN and can now do some of our own testing. I am reminded to try connecting by IP. Sure enough, it works fine. The issue is that you’re a dumbass who doesn’t understand NAT and you were trying to do something that doesn’t work. Even so, we would have been past this point days ago if you hadn’t been an idiot when you set up your system, or if your mail server worked properly.

So, its now Thursday and everything is peachy… time to hook up your printer. I’m sorry, but I fuckin’ hate printers. They are the bane of my existance. They are also somewhat difficult to diagnose from two time zones away.

So I understand that you are frustrated and I’m sure we all agree that it is my fault.