The Passion of a Heart...
Virgin -- No More...
A soft song plays on
Uncontrollably we draw close
Our bodies move to
We kiss softly, passionately
The song fades leaving
only the sounds of our hearts
Drapes thrown open
Birds start to sing
Sunrise chases away the darkness
Light greets me, like your kiss
We came here as friends. You needed me and I came, because I needed you just as much. You thank me for listening, and I thank you for letting me in. At least I want to. That would be too forward, too open. I listen to your fears, your pain, and I share with you none of mine. I don't tell you how much I really care. I don't tell you that when you hurt yourself you hurt me too, nor that I understand why you do it. I just smile and laugh and try to hide the pain in my eyes. I hurt myself too, in my own ways.
We came here as friends, but we won't leave that way. Tonight you saw through my smile and heard through my laughter. Tonight I opened up I and I told you I loved you. Tonight you told me you loved me too.
We came here as friends, but tonight we leave as much more.
We came as friends, and we bared our souls. Acting on the moment, never thinking of the next. We left as lovers, hand in hand, ready to face the world.
We came as lovers, side by side. No longer thinking of the moment, but dreaming and fearing the future. We bared our souls, and we both knew that all moments must pass. We came as lovers, and left as friends, hoping for a time when the moment could come again.
I know not what the future holds, but I do know this. Whether or not that moment comes again, a love such as ours will never die. I'll smile, and I'll laugh, and you'll see through me. And we'll be together... till time's release.
I watch you lying here; watch your shoulders quake from crying.
I cannot see the tears form on your cheek as you struggle as first to hold them back.
I cannot see the tears roll down your face to soak the pillow below, but I know they do.
I cannot see your bloodshot eyes searching inward and outward for the answer, the answer you've been waiting so long to find, but never really believed was there.
I reach out.
My fingers slowly trace your shoulders, but you do not acknowledge my touch.
I beg of you softly,
"Let me in.
"Let me share your pain.
"Let me bear your burden, as Hercules once did for Atlas.
"I'm not the son of a god, but my shoulders are rested, and it has been so long
since you've slept the night through; untouched by your traitorous dreams,
and your traitorous body."
Maybe you answered, but the words didn't quite make it past your lips.
Maybe they did, but I was too caught up in my struggle to hear you.
Maybe you never heard me, lost inside yourself.
Maybe your were afraid to answer, afraid you'd hurt me, afraid I'd think less of you for your weakness, afraid that saying it would make it real; that the gods would hear you, and condemn you for the words you spoke, words not meant to be shared, only contemplated, and locked up in the darkest parts of your heart.
Maybe you don't want me here.
Maybe I'm intruding and you're too afraid to tell me.
Maybe this is so sacred, that to tell me to leave, or even to stay would be akin to spitting on the bride, or playing peek-a-boo as mourners paid their respects.
Was I your comfort, and your strength, or was I a Tom the baker, watching Lady Godiva as she rode, ashamed of what she must do, but knowing that only she could do it.
Maybe it's not you who's afraid, maybe it's me.
Maybe I don't want to admit that even though I'm here, try as I might, I cannot ease your pain, I cannot cease your tears, I can't be with you in the late hours of the night, when the demons come to gnaw at your soul, when the shades of friends and lovers come to visit, and to point fingers, and to question.
I want to be there, I want to be with you always; to chase away the demons, and to make the shades show you the whole truth, not just their own.
To show you that you are not to blame, that the shades are merely searching for a place to put their own guilt, their pain, and they know a person who would gladly accept it.
Damn them all to hell!
They shouldn't be doing this!
You were their friend!
You tried to help them!
You may not believe it anymore, but I know you, I know you did.
'Our memory is tarnished, but you can make it better.
'All it takes is a bit of your soul, a bit of your mind.
'If you don't remember things as they were, then they never happened.
'You weren't there, but you should have been.
'You didn't help, but you could have.
'You could have done more.
'You could have given yourself instead.'
Don't listen, they tell lies!
You know you could do no more.
You know that if you'd have given yourself, that'd would only satiate, not fulfill.
Your loss could not fill, only destroy what little they had.
The shades lie to you, only you know the truth.
But they've been working for so long, you've begun to believe them, haven't you?
I know you have, I can feel it.
I cannot replace what you've lost.
I cannot stop the tears.
I cannot chase away the demons.
I cannot turn away the shades.
But I can point you toward the light, and I can bear your burden for a while.
If you let me.
If you hear me.
If you answer, and if I hear.
If we're strong enough to face our fears; together.
I love you.
You speak of fading memories...
Mental scars you cling to,
scratching at them occasionally to remind yourself of the pain.
You speak of lost loves.
Loves who you didn't know at all, yet you knew too well.
Loves who you thought you deserved, as punishment for being born,
or re-born, depending on your current metaphysical viewpoint.
You cling tightly to your pain, to your self pity, and self hatred.
And while I loath to take that away,
I hate even more the thought of losing you.
I want to taste your lips.
I want to taste your tears.
I want to taste your sweat.
I want to taste your love.
I want to hear your voice.
I want to hear your laugh.
I want to hear your smile.
I want to hear your love.
I want to smell your scent upon my sheets.
I want to smell your shampoo in your hair.
I want to smell your candles burning bright.
I want to smell your love.
I want to feel your cheeks.
I want to feel your curves.
I want to feel your warmth.
I want to feel your love.
I want to see into your soul.
I want to see into your heart.
I want to see you in the morning sunlight.
I want to see your love.
I want to know your deepest fears.
I want to know your favorite dreams.
I want to know your average moments.
I want to know your love.
I know that music was playing, though for the life of me I couldn't tell you what it was. All I knew was the dance of light upon your bare skin, your warmth next to me, your eyes locked with mine.
I know that words were spoken, though I do not remember them. Only the passion mattered. Only the feelings that passed between us. The electricity when you touched me. The giddy warmth that spread throughout my being.
I remember your heartbeat racing faster and faster. I remember how you gasped as you lowered yourself onto me. I remember the slight pain, and the moist ecstasy that followed.
I remember loving every part of you. I remember loving you as I have loved no other. I remember loving you as I will never love again. I remember the innocence. I remember the connection between us. I remember knowing you as I knew myself.
I remember lying beside you. Naked. Comfortable. I remember wrapping my arms around you, breathing you in. I remember how your scent lingered on my body for days.
I remember the expectation. I remember the actuality. I remember the worries, and the fears. I remember caution cast aside. I do not remember regret.
There was none.
I breathe you in
Take of your essence until you become a part of me
As you fill my being with a joy I've never known, I realize...
I can't hold my breath forever.