… No.

Totally uncoordinated today. I feel like my brain and my body aren’t really talking to each other. Everyday tasks are completely foreign.

I did manage not to do anything totally stupid today, though. So that’s good.

Is it a bad sign that I’m looking through my friend’s wedding registry and contemplating what gift to buy based on the likelihood that it would be used as a weapon…

The block of knives is just not going to work. I will not buy something that could potentially be used to murder my friend.

I may go with the set of pans… sure, they can be used as a weapon, but I suspect she’d be the one doing the whacking, whereas the knife block is fair game… I’m not sure if that is sexist on my part, or if I’m just basing it on family history…

Maybe I should just get them family guy season 1… that sounds safe.

I’m attending a wedding in october in gatlinburg, and am pondering shooting up to Chicago and taking the mother road home… any tips for the drive?

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Nichole Ritchie was busted for DUI and spent 82 minutes in jail.

I comitted no crimes for which I have been charged or convicted, but I was required by law to spend 8 hours at the courthouse tuesday (jury duty), and if I didn’t do what I was directed, I could have had the Marshals sent after me and been charged with contempt of court… I wonder if they’d have let me out on that one in under an hour…

I just want a quiet, boring day.

I want a day where I am not sick, not going to the dentist, not on jury duty, not on call, not responding to major incidents at work, not having surgery, not on crutches, not taking my car to the shop cause the rotors warped again…

And NOT exchanging 911 phone calls with crazy women (who passed people on the shoulder and then tried to get me to rear end her by slamming on her brakes repeatedly) on my drive into work.

Today is not that day.

Seriously, if I want to lean right of left, believe in god or not, get the newspaper in casual clothes without being photographed, leave my work at the office, or read harry potter without having the ending spoiled for me, FFS people, just STFU GBTW and leave me alone. Everyone seems to think that we should spend our time ruining the days of everyone who disagrees with us, likes something that we don’t, or cares about something that we don’t. Its stupid, childish, and serves no use other than to further divide us. People need to stop modeling themselves after Fred Phelps.

/too tired for this shiat

See, look, I’m a warlock. I could totally hook up with this girl.